My husband MJ approached me grinning, new car brochure clutched excitedly in his hands. I knew it was already too late.  Once he gets to this point, asking me to take a look at a new car is only an extended courtesy because his mind is already made up. My car has always been the practical one. I haul the kids to school, the dog to the groomers, and crates of Goldfish home from Costco. I have a Honda Pilot that’s not spotlessly clean, but comfortable and roomy and great for our eight-hour road trips to visit family in West Virginia. MJ’s vehicle gets driven to the airport and back, is lucky to…

Art and music were two of my favorite classes when I was in elementary school. Not only did they provide a break from the monotony of math and social studies, but it was a time to get up, move, and be creative. I still remember the smell of the poster paint that followed me home after every designated art day and the way the recorder made my lips tingle when I played it in music. Most kids love it. Mine do not. Progress report time rolled around once again. I really feel they should rename these due to the fact that they only send the report home when NO progress is being made—an UNprogress …

I was busy this past weekend googling boarding schools and military academies. MJ thought I was joking until the recruiter from Missouri Military Academy called. Unfortunately the school doesn’t start until sixth grade, so E still has a few more years until he’s eligible. E has always been impulsive—it goes along with his ADHD diagnosis. He doesn’t think, he just acts, and that gets him into trouble. We’ve had more than our share of, “What were you thinking?” moments with him. The incident that had me scouring the internet for reform schools happened at school. E found a wallet on the floor …

Throwing a birthday party for a 7-year-old can be a harrowing experience. After picking the venue, you need to decide on the cake. In the past, I’ve ordered cakes from bakeries and I’ve made my own.  For E’s 9th birthday in November, we kept things simple. He invited two friends over for a sleep over. We ordered pizza, they played X-Box, and I made the cake. All went smoothly—except for the cake. E had requested a Master Chief cake. Those of you not familiar with the X-Box game "Halo" will not understand the enormity of his request. While I can freehand just about anything, military men with …

I envy the mothers whose children were born in the spring and summer months. I would love to be able to rent out a picnic shelter, grill hamburgers while the kids play on the playground, have some cake, open some presents, and call it a day. Having two boys with birthdays in the dead of winter can present some challenges when it comes to planning the party. Having the party at home just isn’t an option, especially after what happened at E’s last big bash. We invited 10 of his friends over for your standard birthday party: party games, cake and ice cream, presents, and I had even bought a …

When I went to tuck my 6-year-old son C into bed, I was met with tears. “What’s wrong, C?” He hid his face under the covers and his muffled voice replied, “I don’t want to kill animals. I want to be a vegetarian.” I thought I had picky eaters before, but eliminating meat from one child’s diet while keeping it in another’s was going to be tricky.  I like to support my sons, but C’s decision to go vegetarian was going to break MJ’s meat–lovin’ heart. I usually end up making up to three dinners a night in my quest to prepare healthy meals and incorporate something for everyone. We all like …

C. came home from school and announced he was in love. Her name was Sarah (names have been changed to protect the innocent (and the not-so-innocent), and she was “beautiful.” My baby boy had his first crush. Over the course of the next few days we listened as the Elementary School Soap Opera unfolded:  Sarah became Ben’s girlfriend. Sarah wasn’t Ben’s girlfriend anymore because she didn’t want to sit with him at lunch. Sarah didn’t want to be C.’s girlfriend because she wanted to play with her friends. C. was now Jenny’s boyfriend because Jenny told him he had to be. “But I am NOT going to …

When my husband, MJ and I were first married, our salaries were small as Airmen in the Air Force and we had to stretch every dollar. Growing up on a farm, MJ was taught not to be wasteful. Once when he got a hole in one of his socks, he asked if I could darn it for him. I told him this wasn’t the 1890’s, he could go buy himself some new socks. While he can’t darn socks, my husband can and does cook, sew, and clip coupons.  MJ would receive a package from his Mom a few times a month containing pages of coupons and he would sit at our small kitchen table and clip away. I used to tease him. I …

 Every time we visit MJ’s parents in West Virginia we always return home with more than what we arrived with. My mother-in-law uses our visits as an opportunity to de-clutter. We head home with boxes of MJ’s artwork and trophies from high school, old GI Joes and Transformers, and once, an artist’s pencil sketch of MJ in his cross-country uniform. On a recent trip, we returned with a box of Ranger Rick books for the boys. The wilting cardboard was filled to the brim with the books which covered a wide variety of animals and the kids were excited to get them out. We drug the box to the loft and…

We took another step toward coaxing our little birds out of the nest—they learned to tie their shoes. This has been a long time coming for E., who at 9 still shows little interest in picking out his own clothes for school or do more than stretch for the TV remote. Unless I want to be doing our son’s laundry forever, teaching the guys to be a little more self-sufficient is in our best interest. With E. anything can turn into a battle of wills. Once he knows you’re eager for him to learn something new, he will do everything in his power to avoid trying it—especially if it looks to be …

Our family had big plans for the two week Christmas break: ice skating with friends at the Rec Plex, catching Despicable Me at St Andrews Cinema and lots of "Halo" on the X-Box 360. But after unwrapping our presents on Christmas morning there was one more surprise waiting to make its grand debut- the flu. I'm a stickler for flu shots. MJ hates needles and would rather chance it. I have to trick him into getting one every year. It's like getting a dog to the car for a visit to the vet. Only instead of promising a trip to the park, I promise a trip to Lowe's or Home Depot ("Come on, boy!  We'll…

When I was a girl, nothing made me happier than to wake up to several inches of snow on the ground. My brother and I would eat our breakfast with one eye on the television waiting for the news to include our county in the school closings. Once the magic words appeared, we abandoned our oatmeal and had our snow boots on faster than the weatherman could say, "snow day." In a world before helicopter parenting, we would dash outdoors with only a neighborhood full of children accompanying us.  No one missed their children unless they didn't turn up for a meal. We played in the snow all day and …

Every year when the Christmas decorations are put away and the candy dish is empty, I look down at the nice layer of padding around my waist and begin to think about New Year's Resolutions. I swear I won't make them, but predictably, I do. My list used to include things like studying more or getting my mom to buy me a pair of Guess jeans. Now, it's getting back to healthier eating and losing the pounds I packed on woofing down tins of homemade fudge almost single-handedly. I'm well aware I'll most likely fail to keep most of my resolutions, but I'll make a long list with the hopes the more I …

When I was 10 years old, I had a plan for how my life would turn out: I would grow up and marry one of the Duke Brothers from the Dukes of Hazard (Bo or Luke, I wasn't picky). We would have twins: a boy and a girl, of course. We would drive around town in our silver Corvette and live in a dream mansion, not unlike Barbie's, on the beach. Woody Allen once said, "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans." Though I didn't marry one of the Duke boys, I did manage to snag me a good ol' farm boy. Our beachside mansion looks more like a cookie-cutter suburban home smack in the middle of …